3 Signs That Screamed I Was A Lesbian

Mari Poppins
4 min readJan 29, 2021

When it came to coming out of the closet; I was a late bloomer. Honestly, I spent a little over 20 years in there! But it seemed like no matter how long I was in there, the gay still seeped out. From the clothes that I wore to the way that I held my coffee cup, someone, especially me… should have known that I was totally and completely in love with women.

How It All Started

I didn’t began to peak my head out of the closet until my sophomore year of high school, when I was dared to kiss a girl on my volleyball team for an Air Head candy by some boy. But as soon as she muttered the words, “OK. I’ll do it.” I felt my stomach leap with joy and before I could even ask what flavor it was, (at that moment I don’t think I even cared), we were locking lips.

The tingling feeling that traveled through my entire body was a good indication for me that I may have liked it.

Actually, who are we kidding! I loved it. Then over the next several years… THE GAY-VOLUTION would begin!

1. The Flannel, Hoodie, Hat Combo

If you know, you know.

And for those of you who may NOT know:

My lady friend (she’s my partner, but this is what we refer to each other as) calls it the 90’s cartoon look and it is the most accurate description that I have ever heard. It looks like a cross between New Kids On The Block and a grunge skater.

I don’t think that I have ever been comfortable in skirts or dresses. Not to say I haven’t tried! Because I have spent my fair share of time in heels and business casual attire, I just only ever really felt comfortable when I wore things like: baggy shirts, tight cuffed jeans, some tall socks, beanies, backwards hats, or flannels.

Clothes like this on a woman have usually been seen as a tell-tale sign that you were starting to morph into a woman loving woman. But I just saw it as a sign that I wanted to be comfortable!

The evolution into dressing, acting, and carrying myself as a lesbian started out as just a small trickle. It began when I slowly starting to only wear Converse on my feet. Then it turned into wearing baggier and baggier shirts or sweaters. But once I started to realize how f*cking amazing buying clothes from the men/boy’s section was, it was all over after that!

I started caring less about whether or not I looked “girly”, and started wearing the clothes that finally made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Which was typically the classic lesbian dress code.

2. My Hand Gestures

Even the way my hands functioned began to change!

The Nail Check

Now, I know that may sound a little eccentric; but it is 100% the truth! Ask a lesbian to check her nails…I am willing to bet that a LARGE majority of them are going to do this little number right here:

Cause I know for a fact, that once I started exploring being with and loving a woman, my hands were acting differently too. I started to check if I needed to clip or fix my nails by doing this balled up fist method instead of sticking my hands out straight and looking at them as I did before. And of course I always had to make sure they were short. (Again, if you know you know.)

And over the years I have noticed this key hand gesture along with one other one…

The Coffee Mug Grip

I had a friend point this one out to me and once she did I couldn’t unsee it!

Watch a woman loving woman pick up a cup of coffee. I’m sure 99.9% of them are going to stick their middle and ring finger through hole between the handle and the cup itself.

You may not have a gay bone in your body and still do these hand gestures. Which is completely fine and dandy too. I’m just saying that I noticed my hands having a mind of their own when it came to certain things; and it only started to happen the more and more I came out of the closet.

3. Eyebrow Slit and “The Walk”

These two things I did not acquire until I was fully out and proud. But the eyebrow slit has seemed to be a trend that the gays and theys have really taken over. A lot of the time it is how I decide at first glance if a woman is the slightest bit attracted to women.

But that one was easy. Now, “the walk” took me until just recently to begin to notice.

So, “the walk” is more of this relaxed, worry-free stride that a gay woman has. This walk only seemed to come out once I was more intune with who I was and who I loved; and you can see it in other women who have become comfortable with their sexuality.

I loved and slightly hated my experience of going through GAY-VOLUTION. But once I stopped caring about how things looked and only cared about what made ME feel good. That is when I was really able to love and express myself freely.

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Mari Poppins

Nomadic hippie mom who loves tech and the power of a few good words.